Things that Go “Woof!” in the Night

So, I have been told that my life is a Saturday Night Live sketch waiting to happen.

Apparently things happen to me that generally only happen in the movies or on television.

Last night was the movie Rear Window.
You know, the movie with Jimmy Stewart where he is recovering from a broken foot and witnesses a murder through his open window.
Yeah, that was me.
Only without a murder.
Just a stupid dog.

Last night, I had been up for hours, listening to this stupid, little, yappy dog bark.
We live in town.
In a highly residential area.
I should not be listening to a yappy or howling dog in the middle of the night.
His owners are home.
These people have been approached many times by both my husband and I and our Sweet Neighbor about this animal.
When they have refused to act, we have been to animal control and the police.
Their standard mantra is, “There is not really anything we can do.”

So, there I am laying in bed at 1 a.m. live texting my Sissy about this dumb dog, when I realize that my Sweet Neighbor has left her house and is yelling at the dog.
My Sissy was afraid that the owners would call the police on the Sweet Neighbor.
“Ummm…No,” I explained. “This is the warning that they get that she is about to call the police herself!”
Then the police show up.
She called the cops!

Picture this…
Me…
with my broken foot…
who can’t get around on her own…
flopped over in an obnoxiously uncomfortable angle…
so that I can peek through the shutters at my Sweet Neighbor and the police officer…
and eavesdrop!

Typically, I am huddled in the dark next to her, waiting for the police.
It is our theory that while the other neighbors can hear the dog, they don’t want to deal with the owners.

I live texted my Sissy the whole exchange.
There was a lot of gesturing on the part of my Sweet Neighbor, while I could hear her explaining the issues we have been having with this particular pet and family for the past 3 years.
Their dog barking at all hours of the day and night…
Running rampant through the neighborhood (in a town where there is a leash law)…
Chasing runners, walkers, children, postal workers…
…my cats…
Because to quote the owners, “These are just the types of things that dogs do.”

And, apparently, the police officer had been looking on the wrong street.
He had slowed down when he started to hear the barking…
…Three blocks and one street away.
He finally agreed that we shouldn’t have to live our lives with the soundtrack of this dumb dog.
I think he gave them a ticket for disturbing the peace!
At least I hope so!

The end result was that they finally got the owners to take the dog into their house for the rest of the night.
History with these owners have shown that they will keep their dog in the house at night for most of the next week and then we will be back to the barking, howling, yapping dog and middle of the night calls to the police.

So, it makes me then wonder…
What will I see the happen the next time I can get to a window to peer out!

11 Blessings of a Broken Foot

I have a Pollyanna Complex.

My glass is always half full.

The other day, while in a painkiller stupor I was starting to feel my glass get half empty.

I don’t do half empty.

So I decided to start to count my blessings of a broken foot.

1. The ER didn’t send me home before I was seen by the orthopedist.
Yes, Ma’am, I see that your foot is broken in four or five places. Here, have this boot with velcro and some pain pills. Call the orthopedist on Monday and go see them. Thanks, have a nice day!

I can’t even imagine!

2. I have been banking paid sick leave FOREVER and have several weeks backed up.
So, even though I am down for the count, I am still able to get paid.

3. Most of my summer projects are cloud / internet based so I can still keep working from home.

4. The Ranger has excellent bedside manner. *Wink* *Wink*
Seriously, I love that man! He is pretty darn awesome (and that isn’t just the painkillers talking!)

5. Rose, my mother-in-law, has finally come for an extended visit!
In fact, I told her the other day that my broken foot was just an elaborate ruse to get her to visit us…and it worked!

6. My sister-in-law, that I love to death, drove Rose down so I got to visit with her for a couple of days!
It is really great having nurses in the family. Who knew that adding one more pillow to the leg could make such a huge difference!

7. I got an AWESOME care package from my Mama and Sissy.
The box talked.
Seriously!
When Trumpet Girl set it down on the table, it actually said, “NO!”

8. I have always wanted to be 9 month faculty, and this is going to be pretty close.

9. I have realized that we truly have a support network in place here in Middle of Nowhere, TN.
Friends have been dropping by to visit, texting to see if we need anything, bringing pizza, etc.

10. Time to catch up on my reading (I’m out of books) and DVR recordings!

So, now my glass is back to being half-full.

Oh, and I now have an 11!

11. I finally have time to update my blog.

There!
Done!

How I Failed to Negotiate a Set of Steps

Or, “How I managed to get 4 weeks of paid vacation with just one missed step”

Either way you put it, it put me in a cast.

Ever since my first FaceBook post on Saturday that I was at the hospital, people have been wondering exactly what I did.

I broke my right foot.

In at least four places.

I sprained my left ankle.

Only one place to do that.

So, how could this happen?

Apparently, very easily.

Saturday, June something, 7:30 a.m.

I’m not exactly sure what today’s date is, let alone what the date was on Saturday.

I got up, made the Ranger some breakfast, and went down to the basement to give the Queen her breakfast and her insulin shot.

The Ranger and I had a full day planned, and, as usual, I was making lists in my head and the first thing on that list was yardwork.

We live in the Middle-of-Nowhere, TN, so it is best to do yard work first thing in the morning. We were even running late! One of our neighbors had already finished his lawn!

Doing yard work requires some finagling for us – we don’t have a shed or garage, so all of our mower, trimmer, etc. are kept in our basement.

And before you say something, none of our equipment is powered by gasoline. Everything is electric with either rechargeable batteries or electric cords.

Our basement is a walk up, with four steps to an interior door and another to get out an exterior door. Both doors have individual locks.

I figured that I would save myself some time and unlock the interior basement door so that I wouldn’t have to keep running in and out doors and up and down stairs to get doors unlocked and equipment outside.

I went up four steps and unlocked the basement door and started to back down the steps. Hold on folks, this is where the chain reaction starts…

Apparently, I didn’t count my steps up correctly and I completely missed at least one or two of the steps. This misstep caused my right foot to come down hard and at an angle across the edge of the cement bottom step. Feeling the pain, I hopped onto my left foot, and managed to do a turn that would have looked graceful if I were a ballerina but since I’m not looked more like someone who was trying to fall without causing more damage, and I went down screaming for the Ranger.

I have a lot of practice falling.

I once had a basketball coach who decided to teach us to fall without hurting ourselves, it was the one time I lettered in a sport.

The fact that I had never broken a bone has amazed my parents for years! Stitches, concussions, pulled muscles, crutches, bandages, patches, splints, boots, but never a broken bone. Until now.

The Ranger grabbed our Sweet Neighbor, who came running, at 7:35 am.

They decided that I was really hurt because I wasn’t laughing.

See, when you are as accident prone as I am, you tend to laugh at yourself a lot.

I wasn’t laughing.

I was screaming…gasping…crying…incoherent.

They called an ambulance.

I have decided that there are some lovely things in this world and Fentanyl on Saturday morning was a happy thing…

…at least for an hour at which time it was no longer happy.

Around 9:30 a.m. I was that person in the ER who is screaming and crying in a cubicle while everyone else is trying to figure out who is screaming and crying and what horrifying thing happened to them.

I, of course, felt totally within my rights to be screaming and crying. I wasn’t doing it on purpose, but when the X-ray technicians are moving your broken foot to various angles so they can try to see what is broken… yeah… it just happened.

Sorry for what I screamed while I was being X-rayed.

After they got done, I was given some more happy medication called dilaudid.

It was my friend…

..at least for an hour at which time it was no longer my friend.

All my screaming must have paid off, because the nurse came back to us with a boot.

You know the kind…big…velcro…doesn’t match anything you own.

He stopped just short of putting it on my foot.

Thank-you, Sweet Baby Jesus!

He said they were going to wait for the orthopedist to come and look at it before putting the boot on and sending me home.

The fact that the orthopedist was coming in on a Saturday morning, would have had me a bit concerned if it weren’t for the dilaudid.

It did make the Ranger a bit concerned.

I am used to the world where they put a boot on your foot or your arm in a splint and send you home to make an appointment with the orthopedist.

In fact, the Ranger called the Sweet Neighbor who had stayed at our house with the Minions to let them know we would be home soon.

The orthopedist felt my foot up, and said they were going to do a CAT Scan. The X-ray had showed one break, but it wasn’t straight and he was going to have to manipulate it around to put it back and he wanted to make sure there would be no surprises.

I’m glad he did the CAT Scan.

He was glad he did the CAT Scan.

Apparently my Mama’s advice of, “If you are going to do anything, do your best!” had sunk in.

In addition to several smaller breaks, they had to realign the metatarsals for toes 2-4 and I broke some bone on the bottom of my foot that goes to my big toe.

Luckily, before they start this surgery, they knocked me out.

I woke up in a plaster cast.

I spent 2 days in the hospital…

…with a broken foot.

That was longer than I spent in the hospital after giving birth.

I have decided that I love the night nurses.

I like the daytime nurses too, but I really love the night nurses.

They apologize everytime they come in to check on you.

They bring you snacks at 3 a.m.

Mine brought me a toothbrush and toothpaste at midnight.

It was supposed to be just an overnight, but when the physical therapists tried me out on crutches…

No words here…

…just the massive shaking of heads.

With a sprained ankle and a broken foot, they decided that I needed a wheelchair for being in the house.

They don’t hand out wheelchairs on Sunday.

The orthopedist agreed with their assessment and kept me overnight again.

The nurse had me up again that evening…this time with a walker.

I can totally ROCK a walker!

I went home on Monday with my crutches to get into my house, a walker to get around the house, and happy pills to make sure that I sat on my butt most of the time.

I am supposed to “rest.”

I am really BAD at “resting.”

I am making lists.

Lists of projects to accomplish while I am “resting.”

So now you know what happened!

I would like to put a disclaimer on this post to please not judge my grammar and punctuation too harshly on this post. Painkillers don’t work well for proof reading.

Ten Blog Topics I Could Have Used

I am still working on lists.

I like lists.

Don’t judge!

This blog post is about at least 15 of the possible blog topics that I have thought of in the vast expanse of time that I haven’t written any.

Here we go:

1. In this house we do messy hair.

We have it down to an art form.

I remember a teacher that used to make me produce a hairbrush on a regular basis to fix my hair because it was always a mess.

Apparently, it is hereditary.

2. Things my students have done that make me want to whump! my head against a wall!

I’m not going to explain.

Suffice it to say, you would probably want to whump! too if it happened to you.

3. A photo hommage to how my cat sleeps.

No, seriously, all the Queen does is sleep.

On a pillow.

On the floor.

I don’t think she moves while we are gone for the day.

4. The world according to Miss A.

“Mom, I only do things the way want to do them.”

You get the picture.

5. Trumpetgirl meets Hulu and is sucked into the computer like the little girl on Poltergeist into the television.

Thanks to almost three weeks of snow days, she has been through multiple series.

Multiple times.

6. We got snow and it stayed past noon!

This is a pretty big phenomenon here in the Middle of Nowhere, TN.

My Pennsylvania girls are usually disappointed in what qualifies as snow in the South. But this year, they were both happy campers!

7. Trumpetgirl meets MyersBriggs testing and we are not surprised by the results.

For those of you who are nosy and want to know, she is a stereotypical INTJ.

She is very excited about this because apparently so is Sherlock and the Doctor.

8. I a librarian, let’s just save time and assume I am right.

I think the Ranger should buy me this shirt.

No reason.

Other than that I AM a librarian!

And, if I AM a mom!

Therefore it equates that I AM always right!

9. A Viola, 3 Trumpets, a Trombone and a piano walk into a house…

It could be the start of a joke.

But that joke would be my life.

Those are the instruments that we have lying around here.

Considering my lack of musical ability, I am always in awe of the sounds the Ranger and my children can make come from these instruments.

Depending on the piece, sometimes I wear ear plugs.

10. Your too happy, you scare me.

Not me personally.

I’m an obnoxiously happy, perky person.

Just ask the Ranger.

This would have been another post about my favorite topic – my children.

People assume if you are quiet, you are shy.

Don’t assume…

I have a child who is terrified of people who are loud, bouncy, outgoing…

…basically like her mom…

She looks at them with a mix of awe and terror!

I think people would be shocked to know that she hides, watching them from behind her hair because they terrify her not because she is anti-social and wants to be left alone.

Let me rephrase that, she usually does want to be left alone, but she wants to be invited to be included.

Kind of like that infographic on the care and keeping of an introvert.

Someday I might actually use these topics in a blog.

So, you can:

A.) Consider yourself warned

and

B.) Now realize you have the Cliff Notes version of what I will be talking about

Fifteen Reasons I’m Looking Forward to 2015

I like lists.

I think this will be the year of the list, I believe I shall number things and see if it helps to keep me on track.

I am starting out the year (or almost the year) with a list of the 15 reasons why I am looking forward to 2015.

I think it will be a countdown list.

In no particular order:

15. Our family will officially be out of elementary school! 

I don’t know that I am really looking forward to this achievement, I am more resigned to it. Baby girl will be moving out into the 6th grade at the end of this school year.

I shall gird myself and trudge forward with the knowledge that she won’t be a teenager until 2017.

14. Another article published!

Okay, so it was accepted for publication already, but the journal issue doesn’t come out for another month or two.

This puts me one step closer to tenure!

13. Marching Band Season II!

This will be our second year of marching band, and we will know more what to expect.

Big has a new name, TrumpetGirl. She blows horn with the brass line.

I have found a new tribe too – Band Moms! They are a group of the most supportive people I have ever met!

I can’t wait to see what the next year of marching band will bring!

12. Anniversary 17!

This year the Ranger and I will have been married for 17 years!

I had to go all the way to Pennsylvania to find him, but he was worth the trip!

11. A New Addition to the Family!

Our family will be growing by two, tiny feet…we will be gaining a great niece.

Too exciting!

10. A Masterpiece Awaits!

The Ranger gave me an art set a few years ago for Christmas, and this year he gave me a new canvas.

I have been terrified to use it.

I’m pretty sure a psychologist could have a field day with my phobia of using art supplies.

In a past life, I used to paint, sketch, and photograph. I have an easel that my Bubba made me, I have hauled across the country. It hasn’t seen the light of day since Baby Girl came along. She’s going to middle school next year.

This year, I am going to get out my easel. I’m going to put a canvas on it. AND I’m going to use it!

9. Catfish Races!

When we moved to the middle of nowhere, TN, we had never heard of a catfish races. Then, we discovered the World’s Biggest Fishfry and the Catfish Races in Paris, TN.

Until you hear the man say, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Start your catfish!” you have not truly lived the small town life.

8. Car Payment Free!

Okay, so we won’t be completely car payment free, but we will have one of our two cars paid off! I’m not sure how long that will be the case, but I will take what I can get!

7. KK, the Traveling Niece!

KK came to visit last summer. We weren’t sure how that was going to work – one cousin is a band nerd and the other cousin is a jock. It worked. Now we are looking forward to a second visit this summer.

6. Zoo Memberships!

This family has this thing for zoos!

We have been to zoos in Pittsburgh; Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, Knoxville, Atlanta, Nashville and Memphis.

Now that TrumpetGirl is of a certain age, we have to pay for her as an adult, and it costs less to just get a family membership if we plan to go to the zoo more than once in a year. In the past, we have had a membership to the Nashville Zoo, but this year we decided to change it up and get a membership to the Memphis Zoo.

There is much to love about this zoo, but for us the biggest perks are the panda bears, the Teton Trek, and the Northwest Passage Exhibits.

We need to start planning our next trip soon!

5. INF 101

Okay, so you may not quite understand this one, and that’s okay.

I teach this class.

I am responsible for making sure these 20 students understand the basic precepts of information literacy.

In addition to the students I reach in one-shot instruction sessions, I teach this one for-credit course.

I like to alter assignments from year to year.

I like to experiment, try out new techniques.

Sometime they work, sometimes they don’t.

Sometimes I feel sorry for my students.

Sometimes I don’t!

I can’t wait to see what happens!

4. books! Books! & More BOOKS!

What can I say, I’m a librarian!

So many books to read, so little time!

3. Religion!

This may seems like something strange to add to this list – religion – but there so many aspects of church and religion that I enjoy and am looking forward to. Our family is very religious, you can trust me on this one.

Baby is an alter server, there is very little in life that I enjoy more than seeing her excitement when she knows she will be serving at church. It is such a joy to watch her grow in her love of God and church.

My Daddy is a pastor, it is his second career. I love to hear the joy in his voice as he talks about God. His sincerity, concern and love for his family, friends and congregation are an inspiration.

The Ranger may not be a pastor, but he has a love for God that can be seen through his words and actions. I adore that in my man!

It is comforting knowing that everyday as I walk through life I know that the prayers of my husband and my parents follow me through the day.

2. Health!

I’m hopeful that our house will be healthy this coming year.

We have health issues in our home.

I’m not going to go into it.

You will just have to trust me on this.

We are thinking positive and healthy for 2015!

1. Adventure!

Adventure awaits us this year!

I have no idea what it might be, but it awaits!

Hopefully, I will get around to blogging about it!

I wonder how much will actually get blogged and how much will just be blogged in my mind.

Have a great New Year everyone!

I’m Alive and I Have Goals

So, raise your hand if you thought I had fallen off the face of the earth?

Well, I didn’t.

The earth is round, silly!

I just got caught up in life.

Life that revolves around my family, my work, and a different blog.

No, I’m not cheating on you guys!

Really!

I’m publishing another blog just for the students and faculty in my departments at work. 

It’s a work thing.

I’ve composed some really great blog posts for you all in my head.

Usually while I’m driving to and from work.

So before I go into my goals for the coming year…

…I thought I would revisit my hopes from last January

I did get to spend time with my Sissy at Disneyland. My cousin joined us. We had a ball!

And, I did manage to prove to my husband that I could live without the joys of WalMart.

Of this I am especially proud. 

It isn’t easy to be a non-WalMart shopper!

Especially when you live somewhere like the Middle-of-Nowhere, TN!

We don’t have a lot of options!

Did I manage to not go to WalMart all year? 

No.

I think I counted a total of 3 visits, but they were all for or with other people.

The Ranger asked me to get him some new tires there in June (that was my first visit all year).

My Sissy had me stop there with her while we were in California.

Oh, I DID go in once of my own volition, but that was because I had ordered something online and ship to store was free. I didn’t stop and purchase anything else while I was in the store.

I have been there once or twice since I passed my year goal, but I tend to go there as a final resort. 

I’ve learned shopping without huge lines is rather relaxing.

Now on to my goals for this next year:

1. I would really like to go to PA for a visit.

We haven’t been “Up North” in several years, and, well, we miss our friends.

This is not to say that we don’t miss our WA friends, but I’m already planning a trip out there for Miss K’s graduation.

2. I would really like to have a visit with my Bubba…in person.

I miss him too.

Last year was a visit with Sissy, this year a visit with Bubba.

He’s planning to run at Disney World in Jan. 2015, so I think that I will make at least planning a visit with him a goal.

3. I would really like to have a healthy year, for me and my family.

It’s been a trying time health-wise for my family the last several years. I’m not going to go into details. They aren’t mine to share. Suffice it to say, we’ve earned some respite.

4. I would like to be an inspiration to my students, many of whom come from locations and backgrounds similar to me. I want them to see that your future is wide open and can be whatever you would like it to be! I would also like to not get giggle fits when they call me professor.

5. I would love, really LOVE to have my guest room filled with friends and family at least every other month.

It should be an interesting year!

I will let you know what happens!

In the meantime, I leave you with this…

Image

 

Because, no matter what the year brings, it will bring these two and fun!