How to Survive a Heat Wave in TN

Today I am participating in Wordful Wednesday with ParentingByDummies and Seven Clown Circus.

I’ve been to areas where hot weather is the norm.
I’ve headed out the door at 5 a.m. in New Orleans only to wilt away in the 90+ heat index on my way to catch an airplane to the blessedly cooler mountains in Pennsylvania.

I’ve lived in areas where I thought I knew heat, after all Southwestern PA is not exactly cool all summer (unless you have air conditioning).
Well, I’m here to tell ya that I knew NUTHIN!

It’s still the end of May and at 9 a.m. this morning it was 90 degrees.

At 2 p.m. it was 100 degrees! By Friday it should be around 105 degrees with the actual heat index. I am sooooooo not looking forward to that one!

This Mama just looked at the thermometer and wanted to back slowly into the kitchen where she had some air conditioning.

So, how do you do HOT in TN when it’s not even summer yet?

Well, if you’re me (and why not, ’cause I’m fabulous!) you can try these tricks.

1. Go to the pool with everyone else, their granny and their cousin Mertyl.

   I felt kinda sorry for some of those kids…there’s little more traumatizing to a child than to see their teacher (even if she is just a substitute) in a swimsuit and a glaring white non-tan! I’m so pale, I make my kids look tanned!

   

   

2. Enjoy watching television inside under the fan. This is a great idea if you want to be sure to get your kids into a nice vegetative state! Really, my kids don’t do this all day…sometimes they play their DS’s instead!

   

   In case you were wondering, the girls are watching a portable DVD player, we only own one television and for some reason it does not play Mario Bros. cartoons or Barney.

3. Drink lots of fluids! Alcohol doesn’t count unless you have LOTS of ice or Kool-Aid in it. I’m talking to the adults here! Kids should have their Kool-Aid sans alcohol anyways! You know who I’m talking to here… Geez…
4. Set up an entire city in your living room so you can make the little people run your errands for you!

5. Count to 1,000 on paper…after you make the counting blocks…while enjoying the feel of a fan and air conditioning!

6. Find the closest body of water that is FREE and section off an area of the beach with crime scene tape so that it remains open just to you. When you hit the beach just lay flat on your back with your arms splayed out and pretend you are dead. To make it look more real, give your kids a bottle of cheap white sunscreen and have them outline you with it…it’s white, it could work! I bet you could get a whole beach to yourself doing that!

7. Go to the library! This is not just the librarian in me speaking. There is air conditioning at the library, and it is FREE! All you have to do is make sure you get your books returned on time! They have books, newspapers, computers, magazines and ours even has a television! Oooohhhhhh…..Aaaaaaahhhhhh….OOOOOOoooooooo!! (Seriously, I think it’s kinda cool to be able to sit on a couch and watch the news in the library).

8. Read a book. You don’t have to buy these (refer to trick #4). You can do a lot of reading over the summer from the coolness of the interior of your house, from by a swimming pool and even from the porch steps in the twilight.

9. Ice cream. No explanation needed.

10. If all else fails, sit on a block of ice.