How I Deal with Hormonal Hannah

The world was quiet; then we had Big. The world got a bit louder.

Big was the sweetest baby! Not really fussy. Not really cranky.

Then she hit 2 and we were ready for those Terrible 2’s! They just didn’t happen.

Big was still a sweet, sweet little girl-child.

We were warned about the 2’s, but someone forgot to mention the 3’s and what came after!

Oh, my the 3’s! A bit louder, got a whole lot LOUDER!

“We” started to cop and attitude. “We” started to get demanding. “We” developed a definite temper! “We” were still kinda sweet, but in a temperamental kind of way.

Today I was dreaming of those sweet days as we were standing in the middle of a store where my now 10-yr old Big was throwing a temper tantrum. Big has a new name – Hormonal Hannah. The temper flares, the tears start, the stubbornness becomes unbearable. I swear she starts growling, her eyes start glowing  and her head starts spinning! Then about 10-15 minutes later she’s in tears and trying to love up to you with apologies. I just hold her close and tell her that I love her.

I’ll swear I was never that bad, but I’m sure my parents will disagree. So, here’s my top 10 ideas on how to deal with Hormonal Hannah over the next couple of years:

  1. Send her to live with her grandparents! (I figure if they’ve lived through this stage once, they can do it again! And, they are the ones who put the “Mother’s Curse” on me – they both hoped I had children who were just like I was at that age. They failed to take into consideration my poor husband).
  2. Send her to live with any number of aunts and uncles who have all survived kids in their pre-teen years! (They’ve done it once, they can do it again).
  3. Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. (For me! I might share if she’s lucky).
  4. Ear plugs. (Maybe if I can’t hear her screeching, I can imagine she’s still that sweet little baby girl).
  5. More ear plugs. (This time for the Ranger. If he can’t hear Big screech at me and me holler back, he can imagine his family is still sane).
  6. Arts and crafts supplies. (Maybe I can channel that frustration into art that she can sell to pay for college).
  7. Teach her to bake. (Same idea as #6, except we’ll eat better).
  8. Convent life. (This is probably the Ranger’s favorite idea. Send her to the nuns until she’s ready for college).
  9. Love her even when her head spins, eyes glow and she’s growling ’cause she’s the victim of the “Mother’s Curse” which when I think about it really isn’t all that bad after all, I’m FABULOUS! Just ask me!
  10.  Brace myself for Round 2. Did you remember that I have 2 – girl children? I did.


2 thoughts on “How I Deal with Hormonal Hannah

  1. My daughter falls into an emotional heap sometimes and she’s only 9. I’m fearful of the real hormones. There just isn’t place in my house for two of us crazy women!

    I like your 10 ideas!

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